Guys come to me all the time…
At first, they pretend they love their job, but they just need to work fewer hours. When I dig in, they admit that they aren’t happy in their career. They wish they were doing something that fired them up. Something with meaning. Something that would allow them to really help people, while doing what they’re best at.
At first, I’ll ask them how their relationship is going and they’ll say, “Oh it’s great, I love my wife.” When I dig in, they admit how much they’ve been taking their partner for granted, or that they’re unsatisfied sexually, or even that they have thought about divorce. They crave a partnership defined by radical honesty and intimacy, a passionate sex life, and mutual support for each other’s passions and pursuits.
Privately, they’re anxious and unsure about the future. I meet guys who wish they were on a more creative path in life, who wish they had created some sort of art or music, and who miss the types of friendships they had in high school when there was always someone to do stuff with. If you can relate to any of those, you’re not alone. I’ve personally experienced almost all of the above.
What if your life was different?
Imagine you wake up on Monday morning, and your first thought is, “Fuck I love my life.”
You roll over and see your girl’s booty peeking out of the sheets. Aroused, you wake her up and have some quick, but passionate morning sex.
Some of your closest friends join you for a workout. You crush it and follow it up with a quick sauna sesh where you catch up with your buddies.
You wake your kids up, and you genuinely feel that there is nothing you’d rather be doing than being with them getting ready for school. You walk into your son’s room and it turns out that someone left his dresser unlocked, so he took out a tube of buttpaste and rubbed it all over his face, arms, the carpet and the walls.
But you’re unfazed (well, almost) because you’re a borderline emotional jedi now and don’t resist reality.
Once they’re off to school you sit down to do the work you were born to do. You know exactly what you need to work on today, and you get right to it. You do some creative work for a couple of hours and then take a break to go and flirt with your wife for a few minutes.
In general you are more effective in everything you do. You’re thoughtful and generous. When something needs to be said, YOU are the one to say it. When something needs to be done, YOU are the one to do it. As a result, people look to you as the leader. Your relationships deepen. You feel a greater sense of purpose in your life immediately. You start pushing your edges in areas of your life that you used to stuff in a closet. You feel alive. You become funnier because you’re just a freer version of yourself. People want to be around you more, because they like who they become in your presence.
6 months ago, you were reading blogs and listening to podcasts on how to solve your problems and get unstuck. Today, you’re on fire because you’re pushing your edges in every area of life that matters to you. You’re intentional and courageous in everything you do.
While other people sit on the sidelines waiting for their dream job, dream relationship, and dream life to simply appear, a small group of people have decided to live different lives. Lives that deeply fulfill and excite them. They’re at peace, yet passionately working on things that matter to them. They feel whole and have an insatiable desire to give their gifts to the world.
I know because I’m one of them. And I know dozens of guys who’ve been on trips with me and are living this life.
I should be in jail or dead
Despite growing up in an all-American family, I managed to get addicted to drugs as a teenager. What started as a way to fit in with the cool kids quickly became the only way I knew how to get through life. I became depressed, anxious, and lonely. I coped with all of that by using harder and harder drugs more often. I became a thief. A cheater. A liar. The type of guy who I’d chase out of the house if my daughter brought him home (which actually happened to me).
Shortly after I started using needles, my parents shipped me off to a wilderness treatment program in the Utah desert, and it changed my life. That was 15 years ago.
Now I want to share what I’ve learned with you related to building better relationships, living with more purpose and generally loving your life more. I’ll introduce you to some of the same experiences and practices that have helped me and hundreds of others.
This trip will NOT solve your problems
I can’t stand it when people tell you that if you just buy their course, their book, their product, or their trip, then not only will your problem be solved, but it will be solved forever. It’s true that almost without exception, the men who come on Soul Searching Adventures have huge breakthroughs and epiphanies. Some leave feeling like a completely different person. But it’s also true that to maintain the benefits of this trip, or any other transformational experience, you have to do two things:
- You have to maintain practices & habits that help you think and feel your best.
- You have to change your environment (which mostly means the people in your life, but sometimes the physical environment as well). We imitate the people around us. You have to either (a) enroll the people in your life into treating you as you are and not who you used to be, or (b) find new people who challenge you and support the new version of you. I can’t be there to hold your hand to make sure you do this (with the exception of those that hire me for 1:1 coaching).
I will teach you how I’ve done these things in my own life, I will tee you up for doing this in what I call “Pillar Night,” and the rest will be up to you. You’ll have to take radical responsibility for continuing to do your work. So if you think that going on this adventure will solve all your problems—don’t. Besides, you don’t need it to solve all your problems, because YOU are the guru you’ve been searching for. You just have to awaken that part of yourself and learn to live as him consistently.
- Monday- AM departure (exact time TBD)
- Arrive at airport
- Drive together to trailhead
- Opening Ceremony to set some intentions and start getting to know the other men
- Tuesday through Friday
- Learn how to survive outdoors
- Do lots of soul searching via writing, contemplating, sharing and other practices
- Have a shitload of fun and a transformative experience
- Wake/breakfast and coffee + leave camp
- Arrive at vehicles
- Pack up and drive to Airbnb
- Fly home
- Following Wednesday night (3 days after you return home)
- A mandatory aspect of each Soul Searching Adventure is called Pillar Night. This is a Zoom call from 6-8pm CST. I will give you more details about this call when we talk.